The World Of Saud

Its all in your head.

Lets start off with your boy is sauced & when i say sauced, I mean drunk. I’ve been drunk since 2pm, and if you think I’m boasting you don’t deserve to be reading this. Seeing as how this is MY blog. 

“Saud, Why have you been drinking for so long?”

Well for starters if you didn’t already know my shoulder is shot, and when I am unable to go to the gym to relieve stress… Lets just say I start to bug.

BUG -  (Verb) When a person over thinks, over stresses, or enhances the amount of fatigue one specific problem can cause to themselves.

I created a definition for bug. hahaha. ANYWAYS, I was bugging. 

So I asked some friend for recommendations on what to do, seeing as how I had no immediate work to do. (All my Finals are presentations.) One friend suggested drinking, Seeing as how I had no objections I asked what bottle I should purchase.

Jack Daniels Honey It was.

Might I add I have a new favorite liquor. (Sorry Morgan)

I Began with 2 shots with my roommate whom had purchased the bottle for me, (I’m 20) and sipped my way to 11pm. Along the way stopping at several locations and meeting with a couple of people. 

My day has been for the most part, fun. I enjoy being drunk and not having the ability to think about my problems, which for the most part are meaningless and only impair my ability to perform at my highest level in places that matter.

Can’t wait to be home however. Life is better drunk. Or should I say Life is better when you don’t let yourself get overwhelmed by negativity. 

I woke up depressed, posted I had a 5% chance of feeling better, that 5% went a longggg way haha, I guess money DOES buy happiness. ($34.99 for the liter of jack)

Moral of the story…

Family Faith and Fitness. Stick with it Saud.

(and a handful of close friends.)

Blogging my life away

Today I woke up feeling the worst i’ve felt in a while. People that have read my blog tell me I go too deep into things, and that I reveal too much about my own problems. Truthfully I gave up on trusting others to console my problems with, At least for the moment. 

For the most part the “stress dump” of my day has been the gym. I wake up and any negative thoughts I have are over-shadowed by the fact that I will be lifting and progressing even further towards my overall fitness goals. (and school of course -__-)

Everyday EXCEPT for today. Yesterday I managed to tear my shoulder playing basketball (should’ve stretched beforehand.) In other words, today the gym will not be there for me.

Pot will not be helping the cause. Seeing as I don’t like smoking if there isn’t something productive to be done beforehand. I have class from 3-4 and being burnt out is not on my agenda. 

This leaves me with a scarce amount of options for reducing the amount of stress harboring inside of me. Talking to friends, Which I don’t think will do much, Or blogging, which brings me here.

I play world of warcraft during the times my other friends can play, and for the most part it serves its purpose in escaping reality, but only temporarily. 

I’m contemplating going home for the weekend. My last week of classes are next week, and honestly I don’t know if I can bear another week. Not that the workload is overwhelming I just want to be home. 

Maybe in 2 years from now when I graduate and begin making actual money through my profession i’ll look back at these posts and laugh, wondering how I could let myself get so down. I look around and see nothing but blessings, but still manage to walk around with a sinkhole feeling in my gut.

I could keep typing or I could do something. Usually towards the end of these posts I start to feel better, that isn’t the case today. Maybe It’s cause i’ll never actually ever publicly address my problems. 

This is also probably one of the first posts I’m writing during the day-time. Thats probably saying something. 

5% chance I feel any better. 60% chance I go to Long Island today for the weekend. 100% chance I take a bottle to my face on cinco de mayo.

Got to keep moving forward. Swift movements.

Therapy

Late-Nights

Welcome back the best part of my sad life. The blog post where i summarize every single emotion thats gone through my mind today. Then completely change the subject and ramble about something that has nothing to do with anything. Lets begin.

My dog is in his little make-shift bed in my room. My roommate went out to go smoke in a “hot tub” with his other friend. Now his other friend is male. This is exactly the reason why i chose to Omit from that. 

Ended up Smoking pot / listening to music / playing wow. Typical efficient sunday night, seeing as how i don’t have class tomorrow. 

Now down to the good stuff.

I’m starting to get a much better understanding of things.

Time to Evaluate how I feel. I’m listening to jadakiss’ new mix tape.

You’d think i’d learn from my past mistakes.

I like to think i have. I wonder sometimes if i should make these posts private so i can actually talk to myself about issues that people concerned won’t be able to read.

My old reliable friends are probably the best aspect of my life. Only consistent friends that have maintained contact with me everyday. And probably know more about me that I do.

I’ve been informed of so much going on this summer. I’m glad i took online classes. I will enjoy being productive, seeing quality people and spending quality time. hopefully make some good memories, maybe a bad one too.

I’m sober, maybe thats why I lack originality. (high wore off). 

I think thats it for tonight. Hopefully i can sleep without something new entering my stress agenda. 

Gotta thank god for what i have. 

Dosey

My apartments new dog just growled. so i got out of bed to investigate. Apparently one of my retard roommates left her in the bathroom with the door closed and went to sleep. After letting her out she wouldn’t stop following me. I took the fort I made her, which was in the living room, and set it down next to my bed on the floor. made her sit in it and put a hoodie over her.

She got the idea. I’m now in bed, at 5am, with my dog. keeping me company. I feel much better than i did with that last blog post.

Good night. I will be doing this often now. Feels too good.

I love my doggie =]

Call me weird.

Call me weird but, this is necessary. Its finals week and I do enough studying, but for some reason i can’t help but right down the things going through my mind right now.

I was GOING to tweet each thought one by one, but saner minds prevailed and I made it clear to myself that it would have NOT been a good choice, “I have an image to uphold”

Gladly When I type I just seem to let go. I could go on forever about anything and somehow make myself read it a few days later and really learn something. So this is an attempt at that. 

Its about 4am, Don’t think anyone is awake. Someone was going to call me back but we all know how that works. Gladly its not on the top of my minds priority stress list. 

May I add I’m reasonably drunk. I add big words to my vocabulary because i feel like it keeps me away from being a stereo-typical “hood nigga” . Seeing as how the word “nigga” is used in my normal conversation. 

This bothers some people, Generally my more “straight-edge” friends. I love them to death, but unfortunately i’m a year younger than them… 

And the Social barrier between the ages 20 and 21 is rather large. They go to bars, I can’t. 

Not that I’m a big fan of the bar scene. But good company is all you really need for a good time no?

I’m starting to drift off into several topics. I’m going to stop myself now and recollect some more current thoughts. I’ve heard the phrase a drunk mind speaks a sober heart. Call me weird but I want to see if my drunk mind can tell my sober mind a few things it doesn’t know. 

Personally, I think i’m weird as shit, for writing a blog post in general, even more so drunk, even more so repeatedly stating it even more so at 4 in the morning. But it’s MY blog.

Everyone else that has a tumblr that I know seems to only share pictures. I don’t have the motivation to dedicate time looking for pictures. So i’m going to keep this one text only.

Lets start the vent sesh saud.

Currently taking 5 minutes to look for a good song, preferably something relaxing. Kaskade is always a safe bet.

I’ve come so far from what I used to be. I’m not proud of my past, people have told me everyone regrets their past but I don’t see how people can relate sometimes. My family is the closest thing to me, I keep myself in a money over everything mentality because thats the only secure thing known to me, If i can’t do anything right, at least it can be providing for my family and my loved ones. 

I go to school for a major i love, I’m doing well, I can see myself as a professional engineer very soon and my dad has provided me with every “in” I could ever need. 

I hate social network sites, maybe because they create the illusion that you are amongst other people, counter-acting loneliness? who knows. Theres a reason my Facebook password is fuckdrama. (there’s numbers don’t worry).

the gym, OH THE GYM. Probably the one reason I have yet to shoot myself in the head, The amount of progress, compliments, and confidence i’ve gained from this aspect of my life is can’t be compared to anything. If I’ve ever done anything right in my life, its this. I sometimes think i have a disorder but I don’t think eating healthy and taking rest days are bad things at all. 

Packing a bowl to kick in the sleep factor, cause I’m still wide awake and i think this post is going to be huge….

Get it saud.

almost took out my lamp reaching for my lighter, and i can still type coherently. I remember when people would text like dakwdah awdkj wherer arre ytou . Like are you really that incapable or are you rolling your knuckles on your phone’s key’s.

Drank 101 proof spiced rum, doesn’t taste bad, but you know the damage is done when you leave the party before after hours. 

So yeah, about life. I’ve lost some friends. Some more significant than others. This is usually where someone who “cares” about you comes and says “fuck them etc etc” “they did etc to you” . 

And for the most part, 95% of me accepts it.

but then you get drunk, or you sit idle somewhere, and guess what happens to creep up on you. The idea that maybe.. you’re doing the wrong thing.

Its a constant war..

Pride + Common Sense    VS     Your Wandering Mind.

People will do anything to come unscathed from a loss.

At this point I’m starting to realize I’m not making much sense. Or maybe that allowing my clouded (or clear? ) mind to venture off in this direction might not be the best course of action.

Maybe I’ll wake up very thirsty, a little nauseous, and start my day with a bunch of laughs about how sauced everyone was. 

Or maybe i’ll wake up with these same thoughts in my head.

Maybe alcohol is labeled as a depressant for a reason. 

1,000 Friends and Counting.

Today I was given some inspiration by a fellow VPG member. He simply said, “Yo I need to delete some of these people on my friends.” He was referring to Facebook friends, which in my case is currently at 1,120 people. Not boasting or anything (some people I know have 3-5k friends easily).

Now out of those 1,120 people, How many were actually my friends. How many of these O-Wops, Doopers, and frailians did I actually talk to, ask to meet up with, or concern myself with on a daily basis. 

-It may seem cold hearted of me to simply not acknowledge these other 1,000 people, but honestly speaking, I think I get enough “updates” in my own life. lately all I see are people complaining about things whether they be sports, TV, love, money, or best of all.. life.

-I used to appreciate the ability to find about new songs someone just linked, maybe something crazy and relevant to me happening being told to me in a status, or seeing how much I REALLY drank at last weeks fiesta, and etc. 

But all of this is starting to turn into another popularity and attention breeding gene pool of profile picture sharers and like feens. 

I have a twitter and I have to admit it was fun when I started it but its also just becoming another pointless update in my life. The only updates I really want to concern myself with are messages sent from another person to me and only me. Only then does your word hold any true value or your opinion show any actual worth. What you put up for thousands* to see isn’t something I’d like to concern myself with. 

SA - Stress Accumulates.

I’m almost certain I’ll be waking up in a few hours going either on a long spree filtering my friends on Facebook, or deactivating it entirely. When the time comes however, Saner minds will prevail.

Something Relevant

Welcome Back Saud

Today I shall announce the revival of my Blog (World of Saud). I had stopped before due to several reasons, one of which being I started becoming much too emotional in my posts and I think the humor was lacking. Another reason being that I was going through a huge transition in my life and did not have the thought process nor the time to dedicate to a rich healthy blog.

Anyways, I will be starting new posts at 8pm tonight. Going to try and get one post a day, hopefully reflecting on my day and allowing whoever reads this the privilege of having an inside look into the humor of my daily routine and thoughts.

Call it a long flight.

It’s been exactly a month and ten days since I’ve last blogged. I had attempted to write SOMETHING in the past few days but writer’s block can be a cruel opponent.

Luckily, as any competent writer knows, when you’re placed in a mindset, situation, or feeling that requires great thought… Reflecting in a blog usually works out the best. So lets begin with another Chapter in the “Book of Saud” (I kiiid).

Perspective

In my mind and at this very moment I believe a persons perception to be the driving force behind every decision they make as well as determining the impact events and situations have on the individual.

• For example, If an obstacle or decision is given you to and you overcome it, the next time around you’ll know what to expect and may act differently knowing the benefits and consequences of your actions more clearly.
• If you perceive someone negatively, you’re experiences with them may not have been as pleasant as someone else’ who may perceive the same individual positively. This works vice-versa of course.
• Perspective on a certain topic, area, or person creates a lot of bias.
• For those of you whom have a limited vocabulary. Perception, perspective, belief, and experience all fall into the same meaning philosophically.

Note that I mentioned Bias, Bias is a big thing to me and generally as you hear anything an individual is saying you should remember one hard fact.

“Anything anyone says or does, is a direct reflection of their past experiences and filtered through their own bias.”

I tried to create examples in my mind but to be honest at this moment I can’t create solid examples that someone wouldn’t shoot down. Just try and understand the concept as best you can, if not… no worries, just tell yourself you do.

Harboring Stress

Best way to illustrate this theory is the following.

Pretend as if stress was an actual illness (it is), make believe that you could “catch” stress just as you would a bad cough or cold.

Now, when you get a cough or a cold what do you do? well since its an illness that effects your physical body, most people in an effort to cure themselves, take it easy on themselves.

Physically, “Take it Easy” means bed rest, acquiring all your essential nutrients, as well as allowing yourself to indulge in relief.

Now back to stress, If stress is the mental (psychological) version of an illness, what can one do to “cure” themselves? Not a hard one, TAKE IT EASY.

Stop thinking, as primitive as it sounds, just stop. Generally sitting idle somewhere will provoke someones thoughts and send them into the “sink hole” feeling we all seem to be familiar with. No one likes it, just know that whatever is troubling you, can be looked upon both positively and negatively. Unfortunately, 80% of us perceive (YES!) things the latter way.

Allow yourself time to go through the emotions, but don’t allow these emotions to define you: Suppressing emotions will not and does not change the situation. Sooner or later we must come to terms with where we are. Being angry or sad doesn’t change our situation but allowing ourselves time to go through the emotions is what will eventually allow us to release them.

Use these events as an opportunity to learn: I believe every obstacle that is thrown in our path is the greatest opportunity to learn about who we are truly meant to be. When we are never faced with obstacles then how do we change the path which we are on? This is how we grow into the people we are meant to be.

Lean on others: So many of us, me included, shun help because we don’t want others to view us as weak. But the older I get the more willing I am to allow my friends and family to hold my hand and walk this journey with me. Life is too short to have to walk it alone.

“Don’t lose someone you love over your pride”: Stick with your entree and get over your side. Self explanatory, Thank you Fabolous, as well as drake for the endless amounts of lyrics I could go on for hours with.

The Golden Rule: Do I even have to say it?                                http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Golden_Rule

The reality is: there will always be obstacles that will get in our way. We have the choice to knock them down, go around them or go back to the life we used to know. The last one was, not nor will it ever be, an option for me.

Jason, if this isn’t “going in” then I should stop blogging right now.

On that note.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

The SOS

As per a new mandate, there will be a sub-division of VPG.

The SOS.

What is the SOS you ask? no not save our souls (more like save yours)

The Stall Out Squad.

• The SOS will serve as the Muscle of VPG.
• All “Bang Bang’ing” will be done by the SOS.
• To gain entry into the SOS one must prove themselves in Combat.

What kind of combat you ask? …

-Sheesh is Right

As of October 8th 2010 there is One leader of the SOS.

Yes dare I say it, The head Goon himself Sal Errante will serve as the active Commander of the SOS.

The Members of the SOS are the Following…

• Sal Errante - Head Goon of VPG (with his Goliath Genes)
• Jason Descul - VPG General (Roids)
  
• Saud Sameer - VPG Councilman (Jack3d)

Thank you for reading this important announcement.

Hoo - Rah

VPG Ranks

I will now post the Ranks for VPG to avoid further confusion.

It goes..

Council > 5 Star General > General

• If you are recruited you can only be placed in a position lower than who recruited you.
• Each General is responsible for their own respective goons.
• Council is the only authority able to promote and demote.
• Generals may trade goons as per their liking.

Here are the current rankings, This post will be updated every time there is a change in power. Propaganda or rebellions will not be tolerated.

Council - Saud, Ariel, Kelsey.

5 Star General - Lilly

4 Star General - Scooby

Council of 3 Star Generals - Bella, Tucker, Chloe.

2 Star General - Bud.

Generals - Jason, Bri, Matt, Jimmy

Goon distribution

• Jason (Sal, Mike) 
• Bri (Ashley, Kevin, Nicole, Sarah)
• Matt (Dave, Jeff)
• Jimmy (Ferry, Ray, Jesse)

SPG and VPG are Affiliated as per Council Member Saud.

ALL SPG goons are available for duty in addition to VPG goons.

Estimated 30 goons.

VPG Goes Bang Bang.

Words of Saud

For those of you whom may be misinformed, the vernacular many people have caught me speaking in is actually a registered language amongst the individuals of my network of friends.

*cue drum roll*

Let’s begin.
p.s - take this with a grain of salt.

Live - when a situation is for the better.

Not live - when a situation is for the worse.

Shot - same as dead, you can make a hand gesture indicating you are pumping a shotgun, to let someone know what they just said is not going to be registered into your thought process.

Squading - or “being squaded” is when you are a large population of one group dominating an area or situation.

Violation - you can yell this to let someone know they just crossed boundaries.

Shits sweet - term used when everything around you is falling into place and you feel secure.

Shits sour - term used when everything around you is not coinciding with each other.

Scurbivore - can be pronounced “scurrrrrrrrrbivore”. Say this when someone scared of everything or frail (read next) approaches.

Frail - James Vaccaro.

Frail (regular) - someone who is weak.

Frailian - “frail and alien.” someone who you do not know whom possesses characteristics of a frail being.

Goon - Your lackey, your robin to batman, your goon is someone that can commonly be seen or located amongst you.

Goons - individuals that you personally feel would deprive you of all energy and frustration should you attempt to chill with them.

Brib(adnoun) - bribnazium, bramphitheatre, bribtorium, and bribington are the main ones, they can be chosen to your personal preference, they all simply mean your place of residence, in other words, your house.

YOOOO000OO - said right before “violation”. Try and extend it to match the severity of the violation.

SOWADDDUPPP - if your feeling froggy* try and say this as fast and high pitched as you can, think of it as a battle cry.

Froggy - feeling froggy is when you encounter yourself on the verge of wanting to fight someone.

Leaping - like a frog may “leap”, you “leaping” is initiating the fight.

What’s flappin - said to greet a bird (read “birds and you” post for more info)

My doodoo - used to notify, greet, and say goodbye to a friend you are in a quarrel with.

Stall - when you “stall” on someone, your are essentially confronting them and/or leaping.

Do You - when all else fails, notify your friend that they can “do you,” which essentially releases all responsibility from your shoulders and lets the person know your personal opinion should have no effect on the outcome of their decision.

Reckless - Being reckless is repeatedly doing something that can have grave consequences.

NOTE : I will be updating this post as time progresses. Seeing as how I just wrote all of this on my blackberry with a friend by my side, In my Car, At a park.

very interesting life I live no? :P